The Good Old Days

Today I visited someone with a “newborn” baby. So tiny and sweet…I may have had my first “I miss being pregnant or having a newborn” moment that everyone says you’ll have while you swear you won’t.

 I think I did. I heard sooo many times “Enjoy every stage because they grow so quickly…”While in my head I would say “You must have forgotten certain parts of this stage” , I did try my hardest to listen to the words of the older and wiser mothers. Now as I sit here, I think about how little she was two and half months ago and how *big (so relative) she is now.

 I keep looking at the most endearing picture of all the pictures I have. The one I snapped on my crappy cell phone moments after she was born as I sat there marveling.

Sweet baby girl, how you’ve grown.

What a joy and privilege to watch her grow. Today I watched her learn to grasp something in her fist. It only lasted a moment but as she realized she was making that rattle shake, she beamed with delight and so did I.

I realize also how much heart ache I’m in for as she grows. Having a baby makes you realize how fast life goes. But a breath…(Psalm 144:3-4). If two months goes this fast, I can’t imagine how I’ll feel when she is a year old. Can’t she just be my baby for a while? That makes me think about how fast the last 5 years have gone. Will it really be that sudden that I’ll turn around and have a five year old? If so, I understand why these women were so adamant.

I love NBC’s show, The Office. John and I were office junkies as long as it was out. Homework breaks  consisted of me driving to his house to watch episodes of The Office. In our low times (the times where we were basically friendless, because we had just moved to a new place) we found ourselves referring to them as if they were friends we regularly spent time with.

Me: Hey John, remember when Jim played that joke on Dwight? That was so funny. 

As you can imagine, I shed a tear at the last episode. Maybe two. I wish I could say I hadn’t. I once laughed at a friend who cried over a previous office episode, but there I was sobbing and blaming my hormones.

But seriously. Remember that time when Andy said,

“I wish someone would tell you you’re in the good old days, when you’re in the good old days”?

It stuck with me. There have been quite a few nights when I’m rocking Afton after she’s fallen asleep and I realize I won’t be able to hold her like this forever. A day is coming where changing her diaper and feeding her won’t solve all of her problems and that breaks my heart. (Clearly a new area for me to learn about trusting God. More later on how much more there is to worry about  trust God with when you become a parent.) But right now, I will hold her and I will do my best to enjoy every moment of her babyhood.

I’m in the good old days and I am so happy to be here.

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